In Sickness and In Health.

Being sick... sucks.

Big time. 

I mean. F this. I always feel suicidal whenever I get sick, because I'd get so unproductive! All I'd do all day is roll around in bed. If I try to read a book; I get a headache. And don't get me started with staring into the laptop screen... Dizziness WILL ensue.

I don't usually layan my sickness because I do believe that that prolongs everything. But heck, when your nose starts running like a river post-rainstorm and drips onto your work, and when you stuff tissues into them you suffocate... then... (T_____T)

FML.

So yes, I do believe that one of the only other thing that I am capable of doing when in this condition (other than eating all sorts of nonsense around the house that does not benefit me in any way... at all, in health or not) is blogging.

Though I have to do it lying down on the bed so nothing from my nose drips onto my keyboard and with the screen brightness at 1/16. Pfft. Basically if I go any lower, my screen just turns pitch black.

I'm not gonna blog about the colour of my mucous though, coz really. Thats highly unnecessary. They're mossy-ish karat-ish yellow by the way.

HNGGG.

So on Sunday, I headed to my cousin's home for a kenduri held in conjunction with the circumcision of six young boys. I love food, though for some reason, I didn't get to eat a lot that week... what with the pressures of a submission and presentation on Friday. Food just had to come second or never behind everything else.

Thus I was more than thrilled to see food (and mounts of it) served in front of my very eyes. And are available at all times just in case you need refills or feel like going for that second round. 

In between all the eating, the cousins and I somehow managed to plan a cousin's night out to watch a movie. Namely; Breaking Dawn. And since I was heading to campus anyways a little after that, I volunteered to purchase the tickets.

College on a Sunday. I KNOW. But I had to do it because I got a little neurotic since I had my re-submission done days earlier... and for some reason, whenever I finish my work early, I'll always find out that something is wrong with it, or its just plain unsatisfactory. So I spent less than 15 minutes on campus JUST to re-measure everything and make sure I get everything and miss out on NOTHING.

I don't think I'll be able to handle another 'D' yo. (T___T)

Headed to The Curve to purchase tickets, because all the screenings for Breaking Dawn are sold out or fully booked. WTF GILA. Decided to give up at one point coz WEIII from the highway to The Curve pun took about 40 minutes! And when I reached the parking entrance, the guard shoo-ed me away coz it was full.

Almost gave up until I remembered I hadn't done my Zuhur and its already 4 pm ++, AND IKEA meatballs / ice cream sounded nice (I must be CRAZY to think IKEA would be any less packed than The Curve... something is wrong with me).

So I parked at IPC (Ikano Power Centre, the abbreviation sucks) and finding a parking spot inside the compounds itself already took me more than half an hour as well. *die* But I figured; Ah WTF I have nothing to lose anyways (except my Zuhur... which I missed in the end) so I rounded the whole place about four times, constantly stopping myself from cursing at people who just entered and straight away nabs a spot.

Alhamdulillah, all went well; Got a parking spot, headed to purchase tickets (without a hassle) and it wasn't even full... at all. Pfff. Contemplated on whether it was worth it to brave the queue for a 1 MYR ice cream and... Eh hello. Kerja gila. Went back home, had an impromptu barbecue with the family (nasi lemak and bbq-ed shrimp, fish and squid. Mmm) ...

... and headed out just when the Malaysia VS Bahrain games kicked off.

OH DEAR GOD THIS IS ONE LONG. LONGGG. POST. WTF.

And so to continue; (I'm sick, and taking a break from doing my assignment. So yea forgive me please).

BREAKING DAWN.

*cue the OOooOOooooo part of Bruno Mar's 'It Will Rain'*

I thought the movie was great. So I honestly don't get why a lot of people reacted badly towards it. Out of all the Twilight series that's came out; I personally think this was the best.

Though Edward started to become less appealing from the second movie onwards because for some reason the people behind make-up just purposely made him look even more pale. Oh and also because of those airbrushed six packs. 

Fail.

Actually I think the whole Cullen clan just looked dead (or in this case, MORE dead if thats even possible) beginning from New Moon.

And as much as I love puppies, dogs, foxes, wolves and werewolves, I was never really a part of Team Jacob (except for that nanosecond when Edward revealed his shiny glittering 'abs' to the sun in a suicidal attempt before being saved by Bella and then tried fighting the Volturi trio in a robe that looked more like a velvet dress than anything else).

Though I am glad that he imprinted on Renesmee (Never understood this name when I first read the book, still don't years after) because at the very least he gets a little bit of Bella in his life.

No spoilers coming from me. Okay except maybe one;

The only thing I'm not satisfied with was the fact that they cut off the scene where Bella gives birth. Right after Bella's bones crack, the screen just jumps into a scene showing her internal organs just burning or something. 

At first I thought this was due to her giving birth (to emphasize the pain) but then it just shifts to Rosalie holding a blanketed Renesmee. That was when it hit me that the burning and very The Exorcist-like scene before was actually Bella's reactions after having Edward's venom injected into her system.

Which is why I think people who didn't read the book would find it hard to find out what the f*** was going on.

The scene where they had rough vampire sex? Well, I don't mind that they cut that off as much, because we had five underaged children with us, and even though I know children nowadays are exposed enough already, I am more comfortable thinking that they don't really know what on Earth sex is.

Plus you can find that shit on YouTube. Someone will upload it sooner or later.

After the movie ended, the whole pack of us headed to Williams for some supper. Some rather heavy supper, may I add.

The experience was just so... LULZY. Whatever that word even means.

I mean, the first time I was there I have to admit I got confused as well because they didn't have menus. So in other words; You have an infinite choice of food to eat. You dream of a moment like it, and yet when you're placed in that situation, your mind just sort of erases your memory of every food you've ever eaten and every food that you know the names of.

But bringing a whole lot of youngsters along with the ride? Not very entertaining, I tell ya.

They were just as confused as.... (-_____-) And there were only four of us who knew the drill, so after about 10 minutes everyone finally decided on what to have.

When all our food and ginormous drinks arrived, my cousin spotted none other than Khairul Fahmi himself. Malaysia's beacon of hope in terms of football. 

Thats me holding the fork. #Hipster #WTF

We actually didn't want to disturb him (especially since Malaysia lost 3-2) though the temptation was... unbearable really. 

Fortunately throughout our entire time there the taukeh visited our table a couple times and made some really bad jokes. Bad, but funny nonetheless. For example, how the pannacotta they served was more delicious in comparison to most other places coz it was made by a Kelantanese. In which he then told us that the Kelantanese would call the pannacotta... pannakote. (T____T)

WAI ARE YOU LAIK DISZ MISTER WILLIAMS.

And when we were about to leave he basically forced us to take a picture with Khairul Fahmi. Which was awesome + embarrassing because of all the commotion coming from the ten of us. OMG. 

So here you go;

OMG HE'S LIKE, ONE FINGER TALLER THAN ME.

(If a finger is ever normally used as a measuring instrument)

To end this post, here's a picture of me tying what was initially on my head before Williams;

In love with the idea of turban headscarves and how I can just leave the house in it, and completely disregard how my hair looks like. Not that I ever really DO care how my hair looks like... or my appearance as a whole anyways... so...

Goodbye.

So My Brain Trumps Over My Heart... Again.

Desires. Aspirations. Thoughts. Drive. Intimidation. Love. Norm. Serendipity. The motherf*cking future.

Just to name a few things that runs through my mind on a daily basis. I know I'm only twenty, and I shouldn't be stressing myself out with 'adult' thoughts.

But I do. If I don't start taking control over my life now, when will I ever? To go through with living without a care, without giving a single f*ck about anything or everything sounds nice, but you will reach a point where you go into introspection and realize that you just wasted your life and now that you want to catch up, the world have long left you behind while you skipped and threw confettis of flower petals on the pavement.

See, ever since I was a child I knew what I wanted to do in life. Strangely enough, even about being an architect. Medicine was just a wrong decision that in my opinion I was destined to make in order to realize that I should never (ever) go down a path that every other person (except for yourself) choose for you.

I loved cats. And every other animal of course. So I wanted to open an animal shelter. I loved watching National Geographic, so its only natural that I wanted badly to go to South Africa even though back then I just called it Negara Haiwan (Animal Country).

As I grow up and discover new things, my list of Things I Want To Do in Life increased up to a point that a single sheet of paper wasn't enough to fit everything into. But it was okay. After having written that list again and again and again to constantly remind myself; its carved into my mind.

Yes it is possible that if you were to take my brains out, it'll be filled with inscriptions. Okay dah mula merepek.

I may be unaware of this, but somehow, I've always thought that I needed to achieve these things in the time I've semi-consciously decided for myself.

I needed to get my degree by the time I reach twenty-five. I'll have to meet my future husband while still studying, and we'll marry once I graduate and have a job. This husband of mine must also be older than I am, is already working by the time I graduate, and has to be in a different line of work / has a different profession... Among a thousand other things.

But the other day, I began to feel that a time limit to all these aspirations of mine... is inconsequential.

Its obvious that our society has instilled into us this need to rush. Rush into school. Rush into college. Rush into graduating. Rush into marriage. Rush into doing your postgraduate. Rush into a job. Rush into getting a promotion. Rush into buying a house. Rush into starting a family.

(I say our society, because you don't really see this outside of Asia.)

Its all rush rush rush that we forget to slow down and enjoy the limited time we have in this temporary world, and by the time we're old and weary, we'll tell our children; Do this and that while you can, because when I was young I didn't.


And the cycle continues.

Its frightening. WHY do we do this? Thinking through my list... HOW did I ever think that all that is even possible, in the very little time that I allowed myself? I'm not being pessimistic... but the scale of this list is larger than one would imagine.

So it struck me; I should stop.

Not to a complete halt, but I should just stop thinking about the What Ifs. What if I don't graduate before time? What if no firm wants to take me in? What if I'm not married by the time I'm twenty-five? What if I become an old spinster living with seventeen cats? What if I never get to feed sharks from inside a metal cage?

WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF.

I've decided to just do whatever is possible best for myself in the present, and just let the future unfold itself and surprise me whenever its most natural to.

For now I'll study. Hard. Whatever is to come next, is secondary.

Speaking of love... Or more accurately; A great liking towards a certain person of a different gender. (Because I find love to be a really heavy word, that is not to be used except when you really really mean it.)

How do I stop it?

I don't like this... feeling. Where you just... simply LIKE a guy.

Its sickening. Well at least in my opinion.

Whatever it is, I need it to evanesce into thin air and not disturb me until I'm done with my studies. And friends, YES I am ignoring your advice of;

'Stop choosing your mind over your heart'.

Sorry, but I'm just not ready to give myself up to someone and have him go around telling people I'm 'his' like he bloody owns my life. And being introduced as 'The Girlfriend' like I'm not my own person and have people perhaps know me as (insert name here)'s girlfriend.

Yeah no. If people know me, its gonna be because of ME. Yuh-uh.

Now I'm just being extra defensive for no reason. And so... this post ends. Bye.

Stripper Poles are SO Yesterday.

Introducing the Volvo C30 Polestar;

I blame Hadzray for this because he was the one who informed me about the Polestar's existence, since I've told him before that I pestered my Dad about getting a first edition C30 back in 2009. Though to be honest I wasn't all that ecstatic about the colour because it looked a tad tacky at first, but after watching videos videos of it on the road; (T_____T)

SO NAIS. I kenot. Add to the fact that I think blue is subconsciously my favourite colour, however best I try to deny and say that I don't have favourites. 

I've blogged about (quite desperately) wanting a Volvo C30, but yeah that post is non-existent now since I deleted my the whole content of my blog over a year go.

Unlike most people, I did not begin to like the car after seeing Edward Cullen drive it in Twilight (though yes, the car did get a lot of exposure from that first installment) but through an ad on paper that showed only the back of the car. Something like this;

Back then I was pretty confident that I was able to convince my dad to get THIS to be my first car... but I obviously failed, but a girl can dream yo. 

PLUS every time we went to Volvo's showroom the car is NEVER there. For some reason its always on road tours. Which is why I'm even more convinced that my Golf and I are soul mates and are meant to be together.

Okay, given, its not really MY car, its my Dad's. But fair enough since I've already 'peed' on it by cramping every possible belonging of mine in it thus totally (unintentionally) giving people the vibe that it is ultimately mine. BTW no I didn't literally peed in the car, thats just despicable behaviour.

But a few months later, an ad came out in the papers about VW Golf GTi being sold tax-free since it was being brought in for the 2009's F1 Race in Sepang. And the rest, as they say it; Is history. I am forever spoilt-rotten thanks to the GTi, up to the point that I'm positive if someone places me in a slower car I will seriously stab myself.

Though of course, if Mama and Ayah could agree on painting it this colour;

Even better.

There are too many white / silver cars on the road.

There is also too many things left for me to do. 

D.

Redo. Alhamdulillah. Now to not make a waste of this second chance.

* edit*

Its crazy. If you asked me about a year ago whether I would want to join my family for a holiday or to stay back just so I wouldn't have to miss classes, I'd probably just scoff and tell you exactly how stupid I think your question is. 

I'd of course, without much hesitance (or most probably none at all) would choose to travel.

But its different now. 

Lets just say that the family is planning a trip to an European country and afterwards, my second favourite place on Earth (so far) and I am actually in doubt. As in, seriously considering to count myself out of experiencing new territory and revisiting the one I've been to and love.

I find it to be pretty f*cked up, if I may say so. For one; Who knows exactly when I'll make it to that European country if I don't go this December. Well yes, I do have dreams, or rather; ambitions about making it big and having an insufferable amount of money that I'd put into buying one home, about twelve cars and of course; to travel the world.. but that might take me a lot longer than I expected.

*cough*tenyearsfromnow*cough*

Second: Its as if I'm taking this blessing for granted. Many others would loveeee to see themselves walking through the streets of this European country, yet I, who is given the opportunity to do so... am still weighing the pros and cons. As if there is ever a need for one in cases like these.

.... I guess its a good thing that my parents have already confirmed everything, and thus; I'll be going to Italy and Great Britain this December. 

Alhamdulillah, praise to the Almighty for allowing me to travel to so many different countries this year and witness the beauty of  those places that He created.

Other than that I think its important that I justify the reasons why I even considered to stay back home, alone when the rest of my family is out walking on cobbled streets and eating gelato for breakfast everyday.

For one; Assignments. I admit that the need to stay back for the sake of only this was elevated when I found out that I got a 'D' on my recent submission. A 'D'. Which is unacceptable, but Alhamdulillah our lecturers were kind enough to allow each one of us to re-submit. Lets face it; If they don't, we're all pretty much f*cked.

And the revelation that I received a 'D' shocks me, still. To this day. Honestly, I did expect such a grade seeing as how the quality of my work is far worse than most people. But a 'D' is, well... a 'D'. Theres no more word to it. The letter itself just screams 'FAILURE'. And I didn't take it as well as I imagined I would. 

I feel that its important that I not take anything for granted. I may have made my way onto the Dean's List last semester, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll be on it forever. Truthfully I may have gotten a bit too comfortable being in that position.

I need to (always) remind myself to stay grounded and to not forget that I didn't get there without working hard for it.

And of course to never again forget my obligations to the Almighty, for He is The One who determines the outcome of my efforts in the end. InsyaAllah.

Redo.

Just here to drop by and say 'HELLO' and of course to complain about the lack of free time I have right now. Assignments are just... piling up and I'm just struggling to do my very best. Or what hopefully is, my best anyways.

Have been trying to blog for a couple of days now, just to rant and also to just let flow whatever it is thats been crowding my mind nowadays. But it hasn't worked just yet because I always end up having so much to say that by the time I log into Blogger, it all just goes kaput since I never know where to start. 

So here's a mind-numbing and useless post that also includes fortunately or unfortunately (according to your preferences and sexual orientation) pictures of myself taken using what else but... Photo Booth.

Thats just me, bored. And trying out the clothes I bought at the recent KL Vintage Festival. The next is however, a pretty accurate re-enactment of what I look like in the middle of breaks from drawing plans, elevations, diagrams et cetera et cetera;

I didn't say a hundred-percent accurate and I'm also quite certain that no one needs to know what I really look like. *cough*worsethanthis*cough*.

And so ends this shameless post of mine. Back to work I go.

PEACE YO!

0307 Hours.

Its almost three in the morning, and I am lying on my back (not completely parallel to the ground below me) as I type this. Right now I'm in Malacca, for Hari Raya Haji. Which reminds me;

Happy Eid-ul Adha

For friends reading, I apologize firsthand for not personally sending out my greetings through the likes of a more personal form of communication (phone calls, text messages, etc.). 

So I stopped by campus earlier in the day to snap a few (blurry) snaps of our site for Project 2 of Design Visualization. I much prefer to come by to do this during the weekends / holidays because there isn't that many people walking around.

Most probably gonna come by again on Monday in hopes that it'll be entirely empty so that I know the real arrangement of desks and chairs. Once that's done, all I'd have to do is measure the desks and chairs and carefully coordinate them into my floor plan.

To be honest, last week was pretty casual for me. But nearing the end of the week, my mind has been thinking almost non-stop. Mostly because I am constantly making mental notes of what I should do, in what amount of time and when it has to be DONE. Plus, spare a few hours or so on to unwind because without it I would go absolutely MENTAL.

The other night was another good time spent at the gym with the usual pair of people. So good that we took advantage of our rapid metabolism post workout and ate. I finished my whole plate of chicken chop clean. PFFT. And to think I didn't even burn so much as a thousand calories. Of which I know of.

Recently, there has been a lot of things on my mind. Not just regarding my studies anymore, though.

To list some of them; The world, my faith, my friends, and probably the thing I hate most to have to think about; Boys.

The World; Why are a lot of people so cruel and inhuman. My faith; How I've lost myself for a while there, and now I'm getting myself back on track. My friends; How I'm torn between praying for what she believes would make her happy VS what I think would be best for her. Boys; ......

So thats about all for now. I'm off to sleep, and wake up (insyaAllah) in time to do whatever it is I have planned.

Monday-n (Read: Mundane)

Mondays this semester consists of no morning alarms whatsoever due to class being only the one that begins at 3 p.m. Thus, comforters are almost always pulled up a little more so as to completely burrito-fy self. If the opposite happens; then it is easy to conclude that a submission is due later on. 

The only difference this Monday had in comparison to ones earlier in the semester is the talk by Farshid Moussavi, the Principal of her own architecture firm, FMA (Farshid Moussavi Architecture) and a Member of the AKAA (Aga Khan Award for Architecture) Steering Committee,  that a lot of us later finds out is rather prestigious award in the architecture world. 

Other than her sexy self (and I'm not being inappropriate for she did wear a top revealing most her collarbone and nearly all her back), another speaker was Li Xiaodong of Xiadong/Atelier who happens to be the architect behind the marvelous School Bridge project (Click HERE) and the recently finished project; the stunning Liyuan Library.

Unfortunately, I did doze off for a while when Miss Farshid was giving her talk, because ever since I entered SEMASHUR I cannot, for the life of me, stay awake all throughout... any talk, or lecture, or anything of that kind. Plus the fact that I was fasting might have been a contributing factor to my sleepiness. 

Nonetheless, I was awake during most parts of the lecture and eventually left the hall that night, deeply inspired (again, because I try to keep myself inspired everyday now by browsing all sorts of websites - not limited to architecture). It would be great if in the future I could make a name out of myself and make my designs known and easily recognized. 

Its like when you see buildings that are a little bit crazy and nonsensical and your mind just instantly clicks and go; Frank freakin' Gehry. Okay, maybe thats just me and other architecture students, but you get my point. 

To have a distinctive design that is your own. PSSSSH. TOO AWESOME.

Way. Too. Awesome.