Bedroom Ideas.

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[1] Raised flooring for the bed space.

[2] Dirty red brick walls.

[3] Grey-ish - Black-ish wall colour.

[4] Statement lighting.

[5] Chalkboard wall.

[6] High bookshelves (So I would have an excuse to have stairs leading up to it. MUAHAHA.)

[7] And unique/collectible bookends for the bookshelf!

Oh and I realize that I have a lot of different ideas for my walls. And it'd be strange if every four borders of the room has different themes. -_____-" Need to decide, obviously.

Better Late Than Never.

Ah yes. I seem to have forgotten about my blog for quite some time eh? And yet again, fail to blog about a few things that I've *kinda promised to write about.

So well, since those topics are kinda outdated, and the excitement from it all is fading by the minute, I'm just gonna go ahead and write short snippets of 'em.

I shall begin with:

The FIFA World Cup Final.

Okay I'm kinda annoyed coz I can't seem to type correctly on a normal notebook anymore. So bloody used to my MacBook.

And... end of interruption. LOL.

So, yeah yeah everyone knows Spain won the trophy, and brought it back to the glorious land of the Spaniards. So HELL YES! I've been rooting for them since the very beginning, so it's only mutual that I feel proud and happy, and well, any other word that shares the same meaning as enthusiastic.

I watched the match with ONE good friend of mine, coz many others didn't dare to rest their asses in front of the television. Errr. This may have been because our finals were held the next day.

I KNOW. Talk about bad timing. -______-" Sheesh.

But I thought that it wouldn't hurt that I spend at the very least (Okay F*** this keyboard!! Sorry. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, honestly!) 2 hours on watching the match till the end, and then continue on some last minute revisions.

Little did I know that the match lasted more than that.

Much more than that. Aigoo. (Yes, I'm still very influenced by anything Korean, and I'm not even ashamed of it anymore. But thats a whole other subject.)

I admitted that the match was nerve wrecking.

If you were sitting right next to me, you'd need to have some serious level of tolerance, coz I was bloody annoying. Like, seriously. To the point that I was annoyed at and by myself. If that is even remotely possible. 

I mean, thats how us girls watch football I guess. We can't play if our lives depended on it, but we sure can talk a whole lotta crap that we ourselves are unsure of, about it. LOL. My reaction during passes: WHOA. They are reallllyyy good. Super sharp okay! 

Obviously much different than when you see us girls play. Basically our 'strategy': Ball coming your way -----> Kick. Who the hell cares where you kick it and who to, just as long as you do. :-P MUAHAHA. 

Oh and the Netherlands played super rough okay! I don't like. And some people dare say that the Spaniards were faking it. DUDE! How would you feel if you got kicked in the chest by someone wearing spikes and was running at the speed of light? Okay, well not the speed of light, I dislike physics, so I can't even estimate running speed.

A whole lotta yellow cards that night, that it led me to think to myself: WHAT IS THIS?!? AN UNO CARD GAME?!

But I was excited whenever the Oranjes were given one. Coz they somehow deserved that. Dude! I know that your coach might have told you that its gonna be a battlefield out there. But you can't just run over everyone and stuff okay. -_____-" 

This post is getting much longer than I've imagined. Typical typical.

So basically: Casillas was freakin' awesome. I mean. Even when its accidental. Its still awesome. LOL. I mean, you could SEE that this guy protects that goal post with his LIFE, man. And with his teammate's as well, maybe. Haha. Regarding that time where he literally jumped over Puyol's head.

So rad.

So who's watched the match would have known that Spain scored during the very last, very crucial moment in the game. I mean, I was LITERALLY pulling my hair hoping that they would score ONE freakin' goal, after SO many attempts, coz a penalty kick in finals would SUCK.

BIG TIME.

But they did! And it was a mighty good feeling! And hey, guess what, my wish to see Fabregas on the field was also granted. AND he was AWESOME. Even though it was late in the game, but he had a few attempts, and hell yeahhhh he assisted Iniesta for that historical goal.

Ahhh. So much love for Cesc.

And sooo much pity for Torres. I mean, this is one awesome player, and he was suppose to shine the brightest in this event. So it was kinda sad seeing him not up to people's expectations. But you can't really blame the guy. Especially close to the end when he fell down and was obviously in pain.

So sad. :'-( Even sadder when Chelsea canceled their plans on buying him after what happened. DON'T WORRY TORRES! It won't be long till you're your typical El-Nino self again.

Oh and the finals were also emotional. Casillas crying just as soon as Iniesta scored, and of course, that heartbreaking flashes of images of Sneijder in tears. Sure, I kinda disliked the guy coz he had a big mouth and is super pompous, but yeahhh. Can't help feeling sorry as well.

But, like any other sports: There's always a winner. And a loser. Lumrah, the say. And the best team won. 

And that team is:

Spain AKA

Although I love the Spanish team, I'm still uncertain regarding which team that I'll be rootin' for in the upcoming EUROs and even, the 2014 World Cup to be held in Brazil. Coz I'm unloyal like that. :-P I might even support an underdog team coz people nowadays would consider anyone who's 'indie' and 'original' cool kan? HAHA. And I wanna be cool!

Yes. That was sarcasm. 

Oh, and.. hearts breaking all around when THIS happens:

MEGASOBFEST.

Twilight Saga: Eclipse movie

Kinda sucks. Sorry. But I LOVE this book. Its my favourite in the series. And the movie didn't give it the justice it deserves. 

Maybe its because I'm just super annoyed by Edward. I mean, this is a dude who's supposed to be PERFECT but in the movie, he talks without the fluidity described in the series, he slouches and.... I HATE HIS SIDEBURNS WITH A VENGEANCE.

Why on Earth is it super bushy?? I'm so annoyed by it. I'm also super annoyed by Bella and Edward's relationship. Its so passsiiiivveeee. And I know my opinion may not count coz well. I am self-admittedly anti-relationship. -______-"

Thus why I am converting to Team Jacob. Well, when it comes to the movies lah. The series, I'm still on Edward's side. 

The thing is, I don't have much to say about this movie, except for:

1) I'm not happy that the part of Victoria is played by someone other than Rachel Lefevre.

2) HOW EPIC is that scene in the tent when Jacob said to Edward: "Well, I AM hotter than you." HAHA. Epic-ness, okay. And what he said is kinda true, sadly.

Robert Pattinson, I love you, but as Edward, you're getting on my nerves. 'nuff said.

Blowing Out of Proportions.

There should already be a post on Spain winning the World Cup by now, but ever since I was finished with exams, I can honestly say I've been quite busy. Juggling time to be spent with friends, time to pack my overwhelming amount of belongings to be brought to my apartment, finding time to read my long abandoned books, blahblahblah. LOL.

And all this has obviously drained all my energy coz the last thing I remember last night was hanging out with a few housemates, watching some Korean stuffs involving Super Junior (Okay, don't judge!), gushing and laughing and whatnots. And the next thing I knew, I woke up in my friend's bed that I resided on earlier, still in the same position I was, watching Super Junior. 

(source: HitYourHeart)

-______-" Meaning, some time between watching those videos, I feel asleep. HAH! So bloody pathetic that I cringe whenever I think about how my friend's reacted to me suddenly blacking out. 

I'm cringing as of now.

And not to mention I missed Isya', and I feel like kicking the daylights out of myself! I HATE IT WHEN I MISS SOLAT TIMES! It makes me feel so incompetent that I ask for a lot from God, but I can't even keep simple obligations in check. Just coz I groggily woke up from my friend's bed somewhere around 3 AM, and then slumped into mine.

HAISH.

But whatevs. This morning am heading to the apartment again. OMG. Yesterday baru bawak like, 2 boxes and I think I died halfway through the staircases. I mean. SERIOUSLY. No elevators?! Our house is on the 5th floor for God's sake! -______-" 

Oh, so the thing is, the date of my repeat exams have changed.

It was initially on the 21st of August, and I was supposed to fly in and out of Malaysia. Meaning: I'd fly home the same time as everyone else, then I'd fly back here for a week, then back again to Malaysia, then back to Egypt again, early October.

But as we've been proven one too many things. Us humans can only plan, the rest is up to the Almighty.

It might have also been the fault of our turd-like administrations, but whatever. Talking about my university pisses me off to no end. And I'll start questioning why I was even here to begin with, AGAIN. And no one wants that: Refer previous post, which was written under pressure, where I decided to be carefree after studies. I still want to, BTW, but with less angst. LOL.

After it was decided that my exams were to be held in September, and I had only about a week of Raya to spend, I kinda broke down. And it was so bloody dramatic, at one point I thought I was about to commit suicide because of it or something, but instead went to the beach and got burned. 

Literally. -_____-"I can be such a drama queen.

But the fact that I thought things over were good. I mean, sure, I'm devastated that I'd be having only one week of Raya to spend, and I'd miss my father's birthday buttt... to begin with: This all would not have happened to me if I didn't flunk my exams. And well, what matters is HOW I spend the time I have at home (Which is shorter by about two weeks from everyone else), not the duration of it y'know.

This quote is so out of proportion in this placement, but whateverrr. 

And although I'll envy my friends who plans a later return here, it doesn't matter. There's nothing to actually be enviable about. For all I know, they're stuffing their faces with food, or something. Which I have recently stopped doing coz I obviously gained a little weight ever since a few weeks ago, where I think I ate 4 different cakes and like, 10 and more slices of pizzas + other culinary delights, for the reasons of a farewell and birthday celebrations. FML.

The point was actually coming home a little thinner, but I think that plan's backfired. HAH!

And for all I know, my family plans a trip to Australia(?) I think, after my sister is done with her SPM. I hope that works out. Or else I'd have to visit Lisa in the UK. Yes, I still have high hopes for my sister. I mean, like I previously mentioned somewhere, when she goes, I kinda go as well. HAHA. So whatevs, y'know.

From where I see it, I'm quite privileged too. Ahh yesss, its good to have a half-full cup of water view of everything y'know. Sometimes it can solve a lot of worries. No need to delve into details. :-)

(source: John Mayer's Tumblr)

Nicely said Mr Mayer. Even more reasons to love you now.

Except for the fact that you are endorsed by both Apple and Blackberry kinda kills me.

Death by envy, they'll say.

So uh well, what I've been wanting for quite some time:

1) A ukelele.

2) A pair of original Doc Martens in its oak-y original colour.

3) A clothes hanger coz I'm bored of closets with doors. Hehs. 

Def need this for my house here.

More importantly:

MALTESERS. Yumm.

Miss the ones in tubs. Soooo fulfilling.

Ughh so gonna get myself a slice of Malteser tart they have here.

And control myself... until I get to the airport in Doha for transit OTW home,

and shamelessly PIG OUT ON THE CHOCOLATES SOLD THERE.

And they're supersized summore!

OH GODDDD.

I pity whoever's allergic to cocoa. 

Hear Hear!

To come after I'm done with my last paper tomorrow:

1) A post solely dedicated to bragging about SPAIN's victory in World Cup 2010. Because, lets face it, everyone whose been supporting Spain since the very beginning has this right. Be patient yah people, bragging rights end when the next World Cup begins in Braaaazillll.

EURO in 2012 tak kira. BTW, we still have bragging rights for EURO as well. Wahaha. 

2) A movie review of Eclipse. WOH WOH. I have sooo much to say about this installment. A few good words, but mostly errr... a few mocks and distaste here and there.

Not that you'd even care, but HAH! IDC, I'll find just about any reason to write here. :-P

Since I'm already typing anyways, here's a few song suggestions coz short posts are so disheartening. LOL.

1) "Little House" by Amanda Seyfried.

I mean, its bad enough that Miley Cyrus had to be compared to this woman, acting skills wise, coz both stars in movies adapted from Nicholas Sparks novel, but now that THIS song is in Dear John's soundtrack, the girl has to take some beating about Amanda being a much better / worthy singer than she is.

And I kinda agree. 

I think mainly coz I'm not in favour of the 'New and Improved' Miley Cyrus. But its also because Amanda's voice really is that nice. Very soft. Makes me kinda want to kick her for being adorable + great actress + beautiful voice. Haish. *ceh, stress pulak.

2) "Paperweight" by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk.

This one's also from Dear John's original soundtrack. Nice also. Errr... don't know what else to say now. Haha. You don't really need a reason for everything, yah?

3) "Ours" by The Bravery.

Okay, so I went a little overboard on downloading soundtracks. This one hails from the latest Twilight saga to have hit us in theatres: Eclipse.

I LOVE THIS SONG! LOL.

But just in case you don't know, Twilight soundtracks have had very good reputation ever since the first installment. I loved Twilight OST, favourite: Of course, "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron & Wine coz this song is basically the thing that saved me from going:

"OH CRAPPPPP THIS IS SOOOO CHEESY" during Edward and Bella's prom dancing scene.

New Moon's OST favourite: Too many. LOL. Just c-ch-ch-check it out yawww. And for now, this song here is my favourite from Eclipse. Second would be the one by Metric, I think, titled: Eclipse (All Yours). Oh and did I mention The Dead Weather is also on this?! I think I mentioned them in that post where I expressed my love for anything Alison Mosshart and The Kills.

So rad. I credit Stephenie Meyer to have set the 'kayu ukur' for Twilight OSTs, especially coz she wrote the whole saga listening to Muse. Which, could easily be the best band to watch live. Not that I have. But I've heard them, at the very least.

That is all. :-) 

Sorry Sorry - SuJu.

Ughhh. Honestly why do I always have to be hit on the head first before I ever learn. Goddammit. 

Cehhh... bunyi macam tengah bengang. Tapi tak pun. But that has nothing to do with what this post is gonna be about.

The thing is, theres another post before this one. But I deleted it because it was so rushed. I don't like. I like to spend a few more minutes to arrange my sentences a little more nicely. Come to think about it: I'm picky like that. And even got a few people tell me that I'm a control freak. 

-_____-" Thanks you guys. *note sarcasm. Why I can't be a control freak in more significant matters is beyond my understanding, and is something I won't ever be able to comprehend. Like, why can't I be more NEAT. 

*glances at state of closet, desk, and everything else. ERRR. Sorry roomie.

OKAY but thats out of subject. The thing I wanna talk about is my previous post. The one about the person who copies my whole blog and the person who paraphrases.

Well, the latter has took it to his/her blog (will still refuse giving out clues) to have a say about it. Apparently, this person did terasa... and well, I RESPECT YOU FOR ADMITTING. 

Okay, please know that there is not once pinch of sarcasm intended in the last sentence. The caps lock is purely because I really meant what I said. :-)

The thing is, dear person, I just want to make it clear that I wasn't at all angry or anything that resembles that emotion at what you did. I just wanted to point it out. So I hope you don't think I'm that kind of person who makes a ruckus over something sooo minute.

Okay sometimes I DO, do that. But errr. Not in this matter.

And... for some reason, I feel obliged to tell you that I'm sorry. I mean, if you taken back by what I wrote, and for making you hilang mood to blog. That feeling sucks.

Honestly, the funny thing is, I follow your blog as well. Even before uhh you deleted all your posts like, 2-3 times. -_____-" See how long I've been keeping up? Just because muh face izz not on that little follower box on the sides does not at all mean that I don't keep up with the musings of my friends + others. 

And *gushes* thanks for the praises, malu I. But aiyooo. The thing is lah, person, YOU SHOULD STICK TO BEING YOURSELF. Honestly!

I mean, I wouldn't have been keeping up with your updates if I didn't like it to begin with! And you use big words as well, I CHEAT. LOL. My secret is the dictionary application I have on my Mac! It has a thesaurus feature. HOW RAD, right? LOL. I hardly, okay, maybe NEVER use most of the 'bombastic' words in real life. I just figured I'd expand my vocabulary by using them now and then here, y'know.

I refuse to hafal a kamus. Ugh.

Oh, back to you using big words. Yes, you do. I remember looking up the words you use okay! I sound like I'm trying to butter you up, and it may seem that I'm writing this seemingly-gonna-be another long post just because I feel guilty and feel the need convince everyone I'm a good person, but I'm not. Maybe just a little. But thats not the point! Yet again.

The thing is: I don't really mind that you use my sentences as a whole or paraphrase (I know this coincides with what I said in that hilang mood post, but you have to understand that that was written before I thought everything over, which I should REALLY begin to do more of), like you, I believe that every blogger has a right to write what they want to. Well, just as long as you WRITE y'know, not like the people who copies and paste another person's work SPOT ON.

And sometimes its not like we intended to copy that person's words. But we were reminded of it as we are writing of the same thing, and subconsciously writes the same thing.

I shouldn't forgive you though. Coz there was no mistake to begin with.

OMG I CAN NEVER WRITE A SHORT POST. -______-" 

So, person, I hope you don't take it to heart. And I hope this would not destroy our errmm... relationship? Haha. Can't find the right word. 

No prizes for guessing who's sentence that is. LOL. 

Toodlesss I have to study now. Ciao bellas.

P/S: ECLIPSE have finished downloading. ZOMG. Must refrain self from watching before exams. MUST MUST MUST. 

P/S 2: Guess how many times I felt like, and actually did at some point, wanted to kick myself for this post's title. LMAO. I am now a Beginner K-Pop convert. Bloody hell.

So, It Surfaces Again.

I wish for once, there'd be a person who tells me to just F*** all this, get the hell away from it, never look back, start anew, and feel like you genuinely belong and feel happy for once.

Instead everyone insists that I carry on, be strong, it'll all work out, I just haven't adapted yet, I'm a late bloomer, BLABLABLA.

Honestly, its not that I'm not trying. I AM. Really. In my mind I tell myself that this is where I want to be. But I believe that you should never ignore what your heart and even, gut tells you. The mind is all logic. And sometimes logical thinking sets limitations to your potential. It stops you from taking risks.

My heart haven't been here with me for a while now. I think its home. Or at least someplace where I'd be doing things I really love and competent at. Which is not here. I can't help but feel so out of place amongst my friends here. Some even point that out to me saying: "What are you even doing here? You should be doing arts, etc etc."

I can't seem to focus. STOP TELLING ME I'M NOT TRYING OKAY. 

I F***ING AM. 

But I'm greedy. I want more than this. I want more than having to go to class, listening to 2-4 hour lectures, being obliged to study all the time, LIVE FOR EXAMS. Where exams determine your success. WTH. Everyone has their own definition of success and I refuse to accept that mine is in the hands of a professor who rates my 'success' by what I write on a piece of paper.

I wanna live. Call me worldly. Whatever pleases you. Its not that I'm completely ignoring the fact that the world is temporary and is just a mere train stop before the Ever After, but... I wanna explore as many things I can, while I can.

How the hell am I gonna bungee jump into the Grand Canyon at 40 years of age?

*sighs. I don't know. I feel that I'm only rebelling right now. I haven't been truly peaceful for quite some time now. Mannnn this may not be at all what I want, but thats how I feel at the moment. 

But for now, I'm grateful with what I have, with where I am, and everything that I've been blessed with. Alhamdulillah.

I'm not gonna stop trying to make it here, just because a part of me wants something completely different. I still have a pretty good head on my shoulders. Still have my feet rooted to the ground. I wanna do good. For my parents, for anyone who matters or cares. And more importantly, for ME. I don't wanna be known as that person who gave up.

Right now all that matters that I get through all 5 years that I have left here, studying medicine. After that, get through my houseman-ship period and LIVE.

Relationships can wait. Marriage can wait. A job as a doctor can wait.

I wanna take some time for myself. DO things I wanna do, travel places, meet new people, try other jobs, be it a waitress, a barista, HELL, that person who passes pamphlets, I DON'T CARE. I'm gonna make whatever little money I can, travel and DO EVERYTHING.

Sky diving, bungee jumping, cliff diving, mountain climbing, drive an ATV through the Abi Dhabi desert, participate in a movement to save nature, do volunteer work, write a book, etc etc.

Only till I'm content and fulfilled, will I return to a routine life.

InsyaAllah.

Should I Be Flattered?

So I was going through a few blogs, of the closely networked and the not. And uhhh lets say I'm just about confused on how I feel about people copying my blog posts and putting it on theirs. 

I mean, I can't help but feel a little flattered that someone out there considers my musings worthy enough to actually be copied, pasted and posted again. But then again, I am also a little furious. 

Recently I've learned about copyrights, plagiarism, and sewaktu dengannya. (Nowwww I see the significance of that one hour lecture that I was fighting to not doze off in.) And if I'm correct; the actions of this person is wrong. Yes? 

Because what I write here is the product of my own creativity. Its mine. Everything is freshly squeezed out from my mind and poured into this virtual diary. Although theres not much effort put out into creating a post, still, I'm quite offended when someone takes it in as their own, somehow projecting to the world that what was actually taken from me is actually, really coming from them.

Come on people. What you put on your blog should be up to your own creativity. Why do you feel the need to copy others? You get no satisfaction for doing that. What if people praise you and love you for that piece you've basically stolen? I mean. Would you reaaaallllyyyy feel complacent if that happens?

A blog is supposed to portray you. Your individuality. But when you put in it, another person's rants and ramblings, well.... the blog is no longer of your essences. You're cheating yourself, you're cheating on the people who reads your blog, etc. Not so nice kan?

Now I'm not gonna give a heads up on who I'm talking about exactly. I don't take pride in embarrassing others. So, if you're reading this, and I'm pretty sure you will eventually (since you copy from me and all), I honestly hope you'd stop.

Blogging is supposed to be real fun. And you're taking the fun out of it. Trust me, TRY to put your own thoughts into your blog and you'll eventually find out how good it feels. Writing is blog is not just a matter of telling your friends/readers about your day, its not about gaining popularity in the virtual world, but theres a certain unexplainable HIGH to it. And when you get the itch, you can't stop scratching! LOL.

Promise me you'd try it. Just try. You'll see what I'm talking about.

Well... thats for a person who copies a WHOLE post. But some people prefer to take phrases, and only little tidbits of what is written by another person.

I mean, call me crazy. OH-KAY, call me perasan. But I recognize my style of writing. I mean, this is me. 

Thus why I suspect one closely networked blog have been using a few of the phrases that I've been using on my blog posts. Sometimes this person would copy a whole sentence, and sometimes he/she (not gonna reveal anything) would paraphrase, but in a way that I can still tell that it was somehow extracted from my own writings.

Its like, when I read this person's latest posts, I feel like some of the sentences this person uses is my own. A few even, I'm confident enough to say DOES belong to me. Coz the similarities is uncanny.

Especially when this person wrote about Paul the octopus the same way I did. Like. EXACTLY. And how this person also addresses Spain as La Furia Roja. All a sudden.

Entahla, might be a lil mengada that I'm complaining about this. But if this has ever happened to you, you'd know exactly HOW it feels like. Its like, DAMN thats mine! Its not me thinking "Okay I'm so original, that any other person who does this is copying me." NO! Thats not it. I mean, you just kinda feeeeeellll it. Okay.

But whatever. Ignore me. 

Just, IF that person happens to read this, and he/she feels a sudden GUT feeling yang tak berapa nak sedap, meaning he/she TERASA, then YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 

Stop doing it.

I am watching thouuuuuuu.... MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

*off.