Not Even A Little Effort Was Put Into This Post.

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[1] Ayah said he would try to get us each a designer handbag every time he pays a visit to the UK, and I'm smitten with everything Mulberry. [2] Related to something I'm hoping would work out and become a success. We've been abnegated the opportunity too many times. [3] I. MISS. YOU. Especially the discount section and the rad books / paraphernalia they sell. [4] Gareth Pugh's. I've been procrastinating for about a month and a half about purchasing the mock pair online. [5] DERP FACE. Plus YES I've been reading The Princeton Review's Essential High School Dictionary coz I want to expand my vocabulary! [6] Mama wants to paint our Mini Cooper S a different colour, and we agreed this colour was nice. A bit purple and a bit pink. But Ayah shook his head in disgust, so we're probably gonna go for a non-typical shade of blue. [7] Lane Kim (of Gilmore Girls) HUMONGOUS luggage! LOL. [8] A VW Scirocco in grasshopper green. So prettyyy. Been giving hints to Le Parents that I want our VW Golf GTi to be painted the same colour, but they probably think we're choosing bright colours just so we would be the car's eternal driver, coz le parents would be too ashamed to ride something so ostentatious.

Girl Power!

This is a post about boys. Yes BOYS. Oh whatever will I do without them?

Please do sense the sarcasm.

Something triggered me to write about this, and it happens to be the quote that a few people have been tossing / passing around that says something about:

If a guy pauses a video game to text you back,

MARRY HIM.

This 'quote' or sentence (whatever tickles your fancy) even have its own Facebook page;

And 47 086 people liked it.

So I'm probably offending that many people when I say:

That's pathetic.

I'm even offending some of my friends, coz a few of them agreed with this and well, I feel sorry for their naiveté, and hope that they will come to realize how ridiculous it is to marry a guy who pauses his video game to text you back.

I mean, if you look at it, sureeee it's sweet. It's sooo considerate. Like, "Awwwhhh he could've texted me back when he finished the game, but he chose to PAUSE it and reply my text!"

Shweetnyewwww. Gushinggushinggushinggushing.

SO I'm not a typical romantic, and I don't easily fall for gestures like that, but hey I can't help that I'm a bit of a realist and even though I enjoy spending some of my time in dreamland and in my own make believe world where my room is made out of cotton candy and umbrellas out of churros, I do make it a point to return to the real world where I definitely would not consider marrying a guy JUST because a that guy pauses a video game for me.

I can accept love quotes like;

Love is not about finding someone you can live with, but someone you can't live without.

Or something like that. Coz it does contain truth in it, and even though I don't necessarily agree that I won't be able to live just because I lack a companion in life, some people do believe that they can't live without without their 'other half' and thus the reason behind some errr... suicide cases.

Though I think its got little to do with the fact that the quote is illogical that irks me. Its more of the fact that a lot of girls choose to believe that a guy who pauses his video game to text you back is worth marrying. Just like that.

I mean, why do a lot of girls sell themselves short these days? 

Why do you think you have to marry a guy who does THAT little for you? You should ask for more. There's nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with wanting more for yourself if you believe you deserve it.

I personally think I deserve a lot more than a paused game. A lot more than a box of wayyy too cliche Ferrero Rochers. A lot more than a bouquet of typical red roses. A lot more than Aerosmith's 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing' dedicated to me. 

I want a guy who would be distracted FROM his game, because of my text. I want a box of chocolate truffles that you can't find in any old grocery store. I want a thousand daisies. I want a song written especially for me.

I don't know. Am I the only one who is sad over the fact that a lot of girls simply go weak because of guys these days? That a lot of girls consciously wear themselves down by putting themselves through an awful relationship? That a lot of girls spend days and nights crying over a male specimen? That girls sell themselves just to keep that man by their side?

It doesn't have to be like that.

Honestly, I've also cried over a guy. Spent more than a year regretting ever letting him go. Heck I even turned bulimic because I thought I could please him if I was thinner. But in the end, I thought:

WHAT FOR? Why am I putting myself through this? Its not worth it.

And I'm thankful that I went through all that, coz by the end of it, I come out a stronger girl (woman just sounds OLDDD). Up to the point where I'm pretty certain that if a guy does something sickeningly sweet for me, I would just give him a condescending look. 

You don't have to be like me. Unaffected (almost AT ALL) by affection. 

But just make sure that you have a lot more dignity than that, girls. Don't let the guys laugh at your naivete for agreeing to marry them if they paused a video game for you. Don't make it too easy for them.

Until the guy actually smashes his Playstation 3 / XBox 360 / Wii / something Nintendo coz he doesn't want a video game to come between you and him, then I think it won't hurt to hold onto those wedding plans a little while longer, no?

:-)

Sick.

I'm back!

From performing my Umrah, if you are wondering. A lot of things happened whilst Umrah, and a lot of things happened yesterday righhttt after I come home from Umrah. So all in all, I've had a crazy spectacular two weeks.

Now all I wanna do is take my cats home from boarding, they gonna be mad if we postpone any longer. And our sugar gliders! Awww I miss having Joey and Angelica running all around my room and jumping on my head and stuff. 

Will post... something, once my fever is reduced to nothing.

Have a good day!

Well Blended.

I just deleted the previous post, because after my family and I were done eating at Sushi King, we stopped by Cold Storage, and that's where my mother found out through her connections in Facebook about a video that has apparently gone viral, because of yet another form of animal torture.

The video, as the description said (because we didn't want to watch it, even reading the details of it made our eyes swell up with tears) shown a person cutting off a cat's paws because its been stealing fish.

WTF.

Honestly, I will never be able to understand (and I don't want to) what goes on in these people's heads when they do these kind of things. 

My baby girl, Figo.

How some people have the heart to hurt these adorable creatures is beyond my comprehension.

I think it was only about a year or so ago, I watched a video of a kitten being stepped on by a woman in heels. But I only managed to watch the first 10 seconds or so of that, coz I was already crying by the time the video started playing, and because I just can't bear to watch the innocent kitten being bullied like that.

Moreover, its one thing to be cruel, but its another that you decide to record the whole thing. Its as if you deliberately want the world to know that you enjoy doing what you're doing to these animals.

And since my previous post was about my feeling of hatred towards a certain cat, I deleted it. Because I don't want people to think of me, the same way they think about those people in the videos. As much as I despise Tupai, I have never intended to hurt or kill it. I just really wanted it to be far away from our house, since it was such a nuisance.

But seriously, what is UP with these people? I mean, sure, the cat stole your fish a couple dozen of times, did you really have to chop off its paws? I mean, COME ON LAH. They're animals, what do they know about the rules of stealing and whatnot. 

Its getting hard for me to write all this, because right now I'm imagining how that cat looks like, and how badly it cries in pain after its cruel fate... and its heartbreaking. Right now I just wish the people who did that, and anybody else who had ever hurt an animal like that GET WHAT THEY DESERVE. In my opinion, its death. But I'm certain that God knows better the ways to punish these people. So I pray to Him to save the innocent animals on the face of this Earth and to punish the devils who did any animal harm.

Aside from cruelty to animals, there is another video I saw a week or two ago, where two boys decided to 'playfully' hit a homeless man's head. Hard. 

There's absolutely NOTHING funny about it. At freakin' all, but these two boys were laughing their asses off and feeling all triumphant about it. WTF man. 

Where is everyone's sense of compassion towards other living creatures and towards humans alike? 

Just because you're living the good life doesn't make you any better than a homeless man. And it definitely doesn't give you ANY right to hit him in the head like that. Oh mannn, I feel so sorry for that man. And his face looked so sad after being awaken from sleep. :'-( I wish those two boys would grow up to become beggars themselves, and see how THEY like it when people look down on them.

But since its not good to wish bad things to happen upon others, the best I can do is turn to God, and ask Him that He saves those boys and lead them towards the path of righteousness.

On a lighter note;

I finally got to eat sushi. Oh hot damn, I loveeeee sushi. And I will forever find it a tad funny how the staffs over at Sushi King get puzzled and have to recount the number of colour rimmed plates we have on our table.

We're shameless when it comes to grabbing sushi(s) and temaki(s) off the conveyor belt. Its always like;

(1) Scout around. Eagle eyes style.

(2) See something nom-worthy (well, everything is nom-worthy, but yeah, something that you want to savour like a beast most).

(3) Grab.

(4) Finish in 2 minutes.

(5) Repeat cycle, up until you feel that your stomach would explode of you took another bite.

This is a far too normal a sight when my family pays a visit to Sushi King:

Monsters.

Thank you Ayah for introducing to us all the wonderful delicacies of Japan. :-9

Okay missing our vacation trip to Japan and Korea all a sudden, coz I pretty much enjoyed all their food. SOBS. I am still, by the way, searching for a good Korean BBQ place. I know a couple, but most of them are non-halal. And not to forget I am strangely enough, missing kimchi, despite how much I disliked it when I was in South Korea. -_____-"

Speaking of South Korea, I have definitely embraced K-Pop and K-Dramas and whatnot. Thanks to my wonderful friends whom I share a floor with in Alexandria. Yet another reason I won't ever be able to forget you guys! 

I have a lot more variety in my iPod now. Apart from my usual English songs, instrumentals, orchestral music, some random foreign songs I randomly find out through YouTube in French, Italian, Spanish and et cetera, I now also have K-Pop. :-)

By the way, there is a hugeee probability that I'll be attending Big Bang and 2NE1's concert in Malaysia... taking place in June(?) if I'm not mistaken. Am soooo excited! ^^

And I asked Ayah whether he'll be receiving free tickets to see the F1 Petronas Malaysia Grand Prix at Sepang this year, and he said he already asked a friend to get some for him. SO... YAYNESS! Fast cars and... a free concert! Featuring the only K-Pop artist I knew back then (before my friends introduced me to a lot more) thanks to the drama 'Full House':

Bi Rain himself, yawwww.

We be rollin'.

Speaking of concerts (yes, I like to jump topics like this), am still saddened by the news that Coldplay would not be coming to Malaysia. So butthurt, can't even. Its so unfair how Indonesia and Singapore always have awesome acts coming over, and Malaysia is in between being all; "WTF". 

But, Michael Buble is coming (or came, IDK, and I don't care much) and the highest priced ticket to his concert costs about 2000 MYR. WHOA, right?

Which is why I made the decision to save at least THAT much money, just in case Malaysia decides to bring in JOHN MAYER (which, they probably SHOULD, durhhhh), and decides to sell his tickets the same amount as an arm and a leg. Because I simply would not accept cheap seats at this man's concert. Imma be up front, ogling his face, swaying side to side, melting into a puddle upon hearing his voice live, and just take in every feeling, every smell, and not even care to take videos to playback once I reach home, coz its all gonna be in my memory.

Ho yeah.

So yeah, Malaysian organizers. Get John Mayer here. 

Okay Oh-Ma-Gaddd I am still not sleepy yet. Due to already sleeping this afternoon and well... to:

A can of Dr Pepper. 

AKA my favourite carbonated drink. This says a lot, coz I don't drink carbonated drinks. I declared celibacy against Coke and Pepsi ages ago. But THIS, despite most people's comments about it tasting like cough medicine; I love. 

And so, I shall end this mixer of a post by saying two things:

ONE: I am upset that Santana is lesbian. 

(Credits : DON'T STOP BELIEVIN')

TWO: I'm going to miss my Goguma couple. Probably the only Korean variety show that I follow (a bit too religiously sometimes) since July (I have friends to thank for this, again), and is about to come to its end. So sad. 

(Credits / Source: GOCHUN)

Gone are the days that I skim through the pages of their Soompi thread.

Okay goodbye now, I'm gonna go squeeze my sugar gliders, and then watch 'Secret Garden' till I fall asleep, all the whilst om-nom-nom-ing on the one and only;

Milk-flavoured Pocky.

Which, in my honest opinion, is A LOT better than Rocky.

It even sounds cuter!

Try saying it ten times:

POCKYPOCKYPOCKYPOCKYPOCKYPOCKYPOCKYPOCKYPOCKYPOCKY.

Goodnight!

*EDITED*

So many things happening in so little time. My prayers go out to everyone in any part of the world that have to face political and naturally occurring disasters, right now especially, to the people of Japan. Okay I just remembered that my cousin is over there.

See shocking photos of what is happening and has happened in Japan, HERE.

Am so very thankful that Malaysia is safe from environmental disasters as well as man-made ones. Alhamdulillah. And I pray that it'll stay that way.

Ducks & Eggs.

These made my morning!

:-D

Image.

Okay, this is pretty random, but I just had my dose of Lookbook.nu and I came across this picture:

("Colour Splash" by Madelene B on Lookbook)

I personally, have always wanted to try wearing clothes of different colours all at once. But the problem begins with the lack of it (colour, I mean) in my wardrobe. Which is why I'm telling myself that I should try purchasing something of a bright colour, other than a piece of t-shirt / tanktop.

Oh and BTW, I got myself a pair of tapered trousers from Zara today... and its RED. I can't wait to wear it out, but first I need to send it to a tailor to tighten the waist area because I deliberately bought it in size 8 (US) so its a big baggy and sluggish.

My pants, and jeans, which, rather unintentionally are all (if not most) from Zara, and I've always bought them in size 6 (US). I'm SUPERGLAD BTW that I still can fit into a size six. Nyahaha. Well, at least for the highstreet brands la. -______-"

While we're on the topic of clothes; I wanna lose weight sooo badddd, so I can start wearing the outfits I have long imagined in my head.

I mean, I still wear whatever I want, despite my weight and all. And I'm still pretty darn confident walking in public with it. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to at least look 'better' in the clothes.

I promised that I wouldn't starve myself. But to be honest, I have been for the past few days. I know its bad and frowned upon. But its not that I don't wanna eat, I DO (like, every single second of every day) but every time I do, I stop myself. I'm getting good at that by the way. -____-"

The first real meal I had this week must've been yesterdays Kuey Tiao Kung Fu. Other than that, all I've been eating is tempe, salad and grapefruits. Especially grapefruits, coz I visit the toilet more often because of it.

I'm not encouraging every one to do the same, but I think I'm gonna continue the pattern I'm at right now, coz I wanna see results. Fast. Maybe once I've dropped a couple kilos and lose the visible fat around my targeted areas, I'll stop.

Promise!

Now I'm gonna toughen up and go weigh myself, coz I haven't been doing so for like, 6 months. Phobic, much?

0024 Hours.

Ho yeah, aside from being a bum, occasionally going to gym, being a part-time maid in my own home, and getting excited about starting classes (continuous spazzing since last night), I am also at ze moment teaching myself how to play the piano. Back to the beginning since I have forgotten almost completely how to play Glen Hansard's 'Falling Slowly' and Beethoven's 'Fur Elise' that I self-taught as well, during last year's Summer break. -____-"

But 'Falling Slowly' is easy peaseh so I'm leaving that for later. Right now I'm learning Yiruma's 'River Flows in You'.

My progress is slow. But steady nonetheless. I would've at least gotten able to master the right hand parts, if I actually did take time and spend an hour everyday in front of the piano. But no.

Thats my practice video. I know its not any good, and people who actually took classes are probably scoffing at me right now coz I'm so poyo for showing off such amateur skills, but... WTV.

Yeah. I make practice videos so I can see / hear how it REALLY sounds like. Coz I tend to 'perasan' sikit when playing piano, and even take to swaying my body (konon layan the music lahh) when no one is watching, so yeah. If I don't tape myself playing, then I will forever think I'm the most awesome person alive.

Y'all. We all need to come back down to the ground once in a while. :-P

And just now I learned about 2 minutes worth of Jay Chou's 'Secret'. At 50% speed. Coz I don't think I can play THIS yet. So fast I can already my fingers getting intertwined and everything. -_____-"

A gajillion kudos to a friend for suggesting the movie with that same title. I loved it. I still do. Though I gotta say that Jay Chou's character was kind of a major douche for leaving behind his father for a girl who lives in the past.

(Watch HERE)

Though I think its best if you don't watch it if you can't stand slow-paced movies with minimal dialogues. Oh and if you don't appreciate music. Instrumental ones.

As per usual, I am writing this post late into the night (though luckily not AS late) coz I'm not yet sleepy PLUS I'm realllyyyyy hungry and I'm deliberately testing my willpower coz at this moment I am overpowered with the need to cook up a homemade beef burger or fry myself a pot of instant noodles. 

I eat only breakfast nowadays, followed by light snacks now and then, and I have to be honest that its been hard. I love food. And being separated from a lot of the things I love to eat is not easy. But this is something that I need to do BECAUSE I'M SO FAT ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY OR CONSIDERED ADORABLE AT ALL and because I've been living in my Nike tights for more than a week now, ever since I lost confidence in wearing jeans. 

:-(

BUT I need to take control of my body! I will never be able to live with myself if I get incredibly fat. I just can't. My self-confidence doesn't insure extreme fatness. And not to forget that I need to get FIT and actually have the stamina of a 19 year old, in order to not embarrass myself when running next to an old-aged man / woman but having more trouble breathing than they do. FAIL.

Okay so I'm gonna get sleeping now coz I hear meat patties calling me, and I'm out of grapefruits to nom on. And not to forget that I have plans to go jogging tomorrow morning with Le Sister.

Goodnight! 

Eksaited.

OMG YOU GUYS I'M SO EXCITED FOR CLASSES TO BEGIN.

People and friends are telling me that it'll be really tiring coz I'll be up all night drawing and stuff, but I can sense that its the kind of staying up that I don't mind doing, y'know?! AHHHHHHHHH.

BTW I am at the moment Google-ing architectural stuff and saving pictures of awesome buildings on my Mac. OK IS IT NORMAL TO BE THIS EXCITED? ^^

K goodnight now. Hopefully I shall still be alive tomorrow because the mosquitoes in my room are driving me ker-ruh-zayyyy, so I sprayed the aerosol mosquito spray all over my room, and now I'm suffocating a lil'. I know common sense tells me that I should get out of my room or something, but ugh WTV.

Okay goodnight! Imma get myself a cup of water first!

Changes.

So... remember how I told y'all that I'll be studying Foundation in Design at Taylor's University? Well, that idea is very well on its way into the drain and will reach said destination (Read: Drain) tomorrow after I pay yet another visit to Taylor's lakeside campus.

Here's the thing:

I already planned on going to Taylor's today to send in my *finally* completed applications (Honestly the applications took a day to finish, finding my original SPM results transcript was the problem) today, only to find out that my parents have planned to come along.

YAYYY. 

Not.

See, its not that I don't like having my parents around. But I prefer to NOT have them around during matters such as these, coz they are gonna evaluate all my actions, give feedback, and embarrass me (like most parents do.) I'm serious. My parents are psychos. And a big part of me loveee them for that (coz it makes me a certified psycho as well, and a proud one at that), but they can be very scary. 

So there I was, about to pay my enrollment fees, and my dad decided that that was the best time to convince me to pursue a career as an architect instead.

Okay, the truth of the matter is; I have always. Always. Wanted to be an architect. Y'know those little boxes / spaces they have in school report cards that you have to fill with your 'Cita-cita' (Translate: Ambition)?

Well, MY first box is always. And I mean ALWAYS. Filled with the word 'Architect'. Like how most of my friends in Alexandria have always written 'Doctor' in theirs. Mine was that. Architect. Second box alternates between a veterinarian and a best-selling author, but thats not important right now.

What I'm trying to say is: I don't have anything against architecture. But I guess I kinda wiped it out of the selection of courses I planned to take after quitting medicine. Mostly because;

(A) I remember my parents telling me that there aren't a lot of career opportunities for an architect. And I agree. Unless you work for an established firm with a long list of loyal clients. Then yes, I guess you're pretty well settled. But to build your own firm from the ground UP. Well, that'll be hard. And thats exactly what I aimed for.

(B) After SPM, I requested to take A-Levels, and planned to venture in architecture afterwards at the very same university I'm applying to now. But my dad shot me down. I remember VERY clearly that he told me to earn my own money. 

So yeah, I guess I can say that I'm a little taken aback and a little pissed off that he's pushing me towards something that they both told me to not pursue years ago.

Okay, so ME, about 6 hours ago = One confused and pissed being.

I mean, I can just picture how everything would've gone if my parents weren't there. I would've came to Taylor's. Settled everything. Return. And head towards a friend's house. And sleep. And not have any worries, until classes begin on the 28th.

But no, by some twist of fate; My parents came with me, my dad lectured on about how architecture is far superior than interior design, how only idiots should pursue interior design coz apparently to him its super easy and doesn't require much effort, how I'm wasting my 'intelligence' for something so petty, and how it seemed to him that I took I.D. as an easy way out coz I don't wanna have to work hard to achieve anything.

And yeah, so ME again, 6 hours ago = Confused, pissed and CRYING.

I know its childish. But if you know me well, you'd know I have this inability to hide tears or stop them from running down.

I tried to keep myself in check, but the way my dad said everything just did it for me. So yeah, I cried. I'm VERY thankful that it didn't progress to unstoppable sobbing though.

Okay, so yeah I know this is annoying, but ME, 6 hours ago = Confused and doubtful.

See, as harsh as my father was, I can never NOT take his words into account. I mean, this is the man I look up to most whilst growing up (and still do). This is a man who a lot of other people look up as well, and respects. A man who is as successful as he is now because of his own effort.

So even when he did say everything in a very annoyed (slash insulting) tone, I know very well that he's far more experienced and well rounded than I am. And not just literally.

And plus, he's my father. So I can be a hundred percent certain that he told me all that he did was so that I wouldn't make the wrong decision. And of course! He's doing what every awesome parents do: Wanting the best for their child.

I paid my fees and all. But ehhh. On the way home, in the car, I thought about what my dad said. I asked my mother for her opinion. She agreed with him, but she's more lenient in letting ME decide.

And so when I got home, I called a friend who is at the moment studying for a diploma in architecture so that I could see the bigger picture. 

That is whyyyy I shall be going back to Taylor's lakeside campus tomorrow, to request for a course change. The good thing about private colleges is that you can be almost certain that this is possible. So I don't need to fret about whether or not they would allow me.

YES readers. I shall be changing courses, again, from Foundation in Design into Foundation in Natural & Built Environments, and from then on I'll be well on my way into becoming an architect. 

I find all this a bit funny (well, after the crying and the confusion and the decision making version 2.0), coz its been my childhood ambition, and I had to go through medicine and I.D. first before I decided upon it.

And not to forget how HIGH-LARIOUS the fact that I'm trading six years of studying medicine for approximately the same amount of time to become an architect is.

All these years I thought architectural students had it easy and got to graduate early. PFFFT. 

Ahhhh but WTV, the lakeside campus is so damn GORGEOUS I don't even care. Seriously. Once I begin classes, insyaAllah, I'll make sure to snap a few thousand photos and share them here.

Goodnight.

P/S: Cutting my hair tomorrow coz I'm sick of having long hair already. And so that I would realize how ridiculously chubby my face is with short hair and I would be more motivated to lose weight. YEAAAHHH. Also planning on attempting THIS:

Buttermilk fried chicken from [ NO RECIPES ].

And attempt to lose weight afterwards. Teehee.

More Om-Nom-Noms Coming.

Attempting Anna Olson's 'Mini Lemon Meringue Cheesecake' tonight.

If it works out well, I'll just bring THIS to Sunday class, coz pavlovas are fragile, and I don't see how its possible to share with more than 50++ people. -_____-"

DIY: Pavlova.

First thing you need to do is; prepare the ingredients and the items needed to make your pavlova.

Ingredients:

- 4 egg whites.

- Fine sugar.

- Corn starch / Corn flour.

- 1 lemon.

- Whipping cream.

Items that you shall need:

- A whisk.

- A baking pan.

- Baking paper.

Okay, so lets start with the meringue base. 

Oops, before THAT, preheat your oven / microwave to 150 degrees celcius.

First, separate the white part of 4 eggs from the egg yolks, and put them in a mixing bowl. Like so:

Then, whisk till it becomes frothy. Y'know, like, all bubbly and stuff.  Only once it is frothy that you should start adding one by one tablespoon of fine sugar, whilst whisking so that they blend together. I actually began whisking manually, but then it proved to be too tiring and I was getting nowhere near the end results.

So I strongly suggest that you use an electronic mixer.

Now, the recipe that I referred to suggests that you should add up to 4 tablespoons of sugar. But mine exceeded that, coz with just four spoon, my mixture couldn't reach the wanted consistency.

So make sure to add the sugar little by little, and stop once your mixture reaches peak form. This basically means that when you take the mixer / whisk out, the mixture will stand up.

To further confirm that your mixture has reached its required consistency, hold your mixing bowl up in the air, and tilt it entirely. You know your mixture is A-okay when it doesn't drip / fall. Like so:

Next, add in 2 tablespoons of corn starch / corn flour and 2 teaspoons of lemon juice.

I don't know exactly why you're required to do so, but I have complete faith in Anna Olson, so don't question. Hahah! 

Though I should remind to not mix the corn starch and lemon juice with the electronic mixer, but by doing it manually. This is so the mixture is not overly whisked, which could result in it being a complete waste of ingredients.

I found out the hard way towards the end. So trust me. 

Next; Line your baking tray with baking paper. 

And then, scoop your mixture onto the baking paper, according to the size you want your pavlova to be. Since I was skeptical about whether it really worked or not; I placed a way too generous amount (more like not generous AT ALL, really) as a test run, before I proceed with using the rest of my mixture.

You don't have to do this, honestly. Coz if your mixture's right... it'll turn out good. Why don't you need a test run?

Well, because when you do one, you leave the rest of the mixture exposed for an hour, so it'll eventually come down, and its consistency would no longer be the same as the time you finish whisking it. Thats what happened to me.

So sad. :-(

Before you place the baking tray into the microwave / oven, set the temperature lower, to approximately 120 degrees celcius. If you don't know how on Earth to do that, like I did, its okay to have it at 150 degrees celcius.

If you're worried that it would turn out bad, check every 10 minutes or so.

So, once you've placed the baking tray inside said microwave / oven, set the baking time to ONE HOUR. :-)

Whilst waiting: Worry. Or shop for shoes online. Like I did.

But the better thing to do is: To prepare the whip cream.

I think you CAN just use those whip creams that you spray out of bottles, but its kinda cooler (coz come onnn we all wanna be UBER cool, righttt?!) if you just buy the whipping cream sold in boxes, and whip them (with the electronic mixer) yourself.

This is the result:

The key is not to under-whip, or over-whip. You know that its under-whip when it runs. It should be of a consistency where when you spread them on top your meringue base, it won't run and drip and stuff.

Once you reached that consistency; STOP. Coz you WILL ruin it. I learned this the hard way as well.

After your meringue base is done, slab an amount of whip cream on top, and decorate with fruits. The fruits you put on top are actually very important, coz the meringue by itself will taste just sweet, and the whip cream.. err... doesn't even have a defining taste of its own.

So the fruits help to make the dessert all the more delicious.

I placed kiwis on my test run. And it tasted goooood. :-9

Unfortunately for me, the rest of mixture was already ruined when my test run was done. So today, my sister and I made another one that I intended to make look like the one I ate @ Alexis in Bangsar;

But our meringue base rose too far up, so the surfaces weren't linear. And I have no idea how they manage to get the meringue's inner layer to look so pretty. -____-"

So I'm gonna keep trying till I get it right. But for now, this is the best yet:

I used strawberries and cherries. Ohhh and of course, shaved Cadbury chocolate!

I even bothered with cutting up the strawberries into heart shapes. -______-"

Tadahhh! Theres actually two layers of meringue here, but its not apparent.

Ahh it doesn't matter. It won't be long till Alexis and Delicious will run out of business. *evil laugh*

Okay, now its your turn to give a try! HEY HO LETS GO! :-D

**UPDATE**

Everyone loved it. I'm still awesome. And Mama wants me to make one to serve at Sunday class @ Al-Khaadem. But first I need to perfect the meringue so that it can be cut nicely without breaking apart. 

YAY!

Watch Out Alexis. Watch Out Delicious. Coz We Be Putting You Out of Business!

Homemade pavlova!

Well, a huge portion of it anyway. 

I WAS HUNGRY OKAY!

Hmf.

I will be sharing with you the details on how to make one yourself, so then, we can form a team, and open up a friggin' awesome pavlova chef movement... and as the title commands:

Put Alexis and Delicious outta business. 

Ho yeah coz we gonna be so bloody awesome like that.

:-D

Mes Raisons Pour Quitter.

Y'know, I don't plan on explaining everything just as soon as I revealed that I am ending my studies in Egypt. Mainly coz I didn't want it to be like... somewhat of a press conference where I tell everyone I'm quitting, and the next day I'm explaining the backstory of what really happened, what led me to make said decision, etc. 

Its as if I enjoy making a spectacle of myself.

But I received a big difference in blog traffic today, which in my opinion is due to the contributions of my now ex-peers and their curiosity in trying to confirm the truth about whether I really did quit.

I also received a number of messages in Facebook. A few of them are congratulatory, and I am thankful to these people. Coz the people who sent them all know me pretty well. They know what I really enjoy doing. They sensed that I wasn't very happy in Egypt... and they saw it with their own eyes as well. (Coz I cried a number of times due to stress.) 

So they are happy for me, knowing that I'm about to pursue something they know themselves that I would enjoy doing. Even the people that I have never even talked to / have a conversation with sent me a message, telling me that it was good that I dared to step out.

But a few of the messages I received are in the form of pleas, and regret that I quit. I love that a number of people admit that they'll miss me, because I've never thought of myself as someone who would be. Missed, that is. But to be completely honest; I'm not too happy with the pleas, asking me to reconsider my decision, and come back to Alexandria and presume my studies there. 

Its not that I don't appreciate their concern, and their effort to help me through. Unfortunately for them, I'm the kind of person who doesn't change her decisions, based on other people's opinions. Especially one that's life-changing, as the one I made.

Thats the reason I never asked anyone what they thought I should do; quit or continue. Not even my housemates, the person I'm closest to in Egypt. Coz I don't like it when people put their 2 cents into my piggy bank. You understand? My piggy bank is mine to fill, coz by the time I break it, the coins or the lack of coins contained inside it will bring benefit (or none at all)  to ME. 

So ultimately, that means that this is MY decision to make, coz it concern something that will affect what happens to MY future. Which is why I would appreciate it sooo much if everyone would stop trying to turn things around.

Its incredibly nice of you to do so, but I just have to tell you to back off. Coz when I've made a decision; I MADE it. Theres simply no turning back, unless that is what I later decide.

I think I might as well explain the reasons behind my quitting medicine, in a way that easy to understand;

(1) I was stressed.

Now I know what you're thinking; "Bahhh come on, as if I'm not stressed" and "Kau ingat kau sorang je stress belajar semua benda ni?" And you're allowed to think so. Coz I can't defend myself, and tell you that my stress is different and is on a larger scale than yours. Coz there is absolutely no way for me to find that out for sure.

It is generally known that every student has to deal with stress. But the kind of stress I face in Egypt, is far different from the ones I've personally felt before (all throughout school and so). Its the kind where I am constantly crying whenever I am reminded of my incompetency to remember and recall what I learned in class. Where when the house is empty, I would scream out loud and pull on my hairs as depicted in countless American films.

So, yeah. My stress IS different. Different from my own.

(2) I lost interest in Medicine.

Honestly speaking, I'm not quite sure whether I really did LOST interest in Medicine, or I was never very interested in the first place. I guess I'll never really know.

But for the record, after school ended, all of us had so little time to decide what we wanted to study in University. And even if someone did know very well what they wanted to be, (coz perhaps they know someone working in that profession, and they wish they could do the same, or perhaps thats all they ever wanted to be ever since they were a child) how do we know if that something is really for us? Really suitable for us?

And the Malaysian education system never really exposed us to the many different courses. Never made us go through a session with a career counselor or so, so that we could find out what we really want deep inside, and whether we are well suited for it. 

Basically, when the time came for scholarship applications, I panicked coz I wasn't even sure what I wanted to be six-ten years from then. I remember that my decision to choose medicine was greatly influenced by my love for Biology in high school. To me, it made sense then:

I love Biology = I love Medicine. Since people are always saying that both go hand in hand.

I'm not blaming my decision on anyone else. Not the government, not society, not my parents. But I will say that all those things did, one way or another, influenced me to urge for a scholarship to study medicine.

But I'm sure that we all know the saying:

Tak kenal, maka tak cinta.

It can go both ways, though. You can't also dislike / hate, when you don't know.

So I had a taste of studying Medicine, for a year and a half. And I couldn't find a reason to love it, other than 'My friends are awesome, and I would hate to leave them', which so happens to be the main reason I've hold on for as long as I could've. :'-(

Its not that I'm not good at it (even though I did fail more than one paper, more than once!), thats not the problem. Its that I don't even WANT to be good at it from the beginning. I tried, honestly. I did. I failed my first semester, so in the second, I gathered myself and managed to pass. Not with flying colours, but I passed nonetheless and that, for me, was good enough.

But entering the second year, I was reduced to rubble again. And its tiring that I have to constantly convince myself that that was what I wanted, that I was doing what was best for my future, etc. So it became an insane roller coaster ride, where I go down and up and down and up and down and up. 

Consistency doesn't exist for me there. 

(3) I had no aim.

There... I honestly don't have any aims. I don't have anything I want to achieve. I think the only two things that I ever really aimed for was:

- Passing tests. 

- Graduate in 6 years and then do something else not medicine related.

So yeah. I don't see now why I have to make myself go through SIX years, to get a certificate of higher education, when I don't even PLAN to make use of it. Its like I went through six years of studies, just so I could have a piece of paper on my wall as a decoration.

See, its not fun to just go through the motions, without having something you want to reach for. Its almost like driving for days, months straight, coz you don't know where the hell you're heading.

And I was never that kind of person. I didn't realize it then, but I'm the type of person who works hard for something I want. And I'm not just talking about pushing myself to achieve excellent results in PMR, SPM, blahblahblah.

I'm not good in a lot of things, but if I REALLY wanted to, I can. 

The problem in Egypt was that, I never wanted anything that has to do with what I was doing. 

(4) I was unhappy.

I mean, sure, I don't mean that I'm always depressed, and am always masquerading my frown with a smile. None of that.

I was happy. Especially when I'm with friends. And my smiles were never faked either. Okay maybe a couple of times, but you can rest assure that most other times, its genuine.

But I was never truly happy. I can't find a way to express it better, but hopefully you'd understand. Its like, when the day ends, and when I'm not laughing with my friends.... I felt sad. Not the typical sadness, like... sad, and empty and shit.

I tried hard not to make all that apparent to anyone else though. So maybe thats why people don't really expect that I was unhappy. I really don't like people to know about my problems, coz I don't want them to have to share the burden.

And happiness is important okay! I don't want to look back and think that I WASTED six years on something, but instead, I want to do something that I can look back at... and be happy and proud about. Almost similar to what I feel about boarding school.

This is six years we're talking about. And I'm not about to let myself live that amount of time too casually and without cause.

I think thats about all that I can share. There is a number of other reasons, but little ones. And despite being small, when a lot of them is gathered, it becomes something big.

If you think that I made this decision rashly, then stand assured that I didn't. Who f*cks around with life-changing decisions like that? Not me, I'm sure.

And before you start saying bad things about me, please know that I gave up a lot of things too. I gave up something a lot of people would've wanted. I gave up my scholarship, that I deserved and received as fairly as everyone else. I gave up my friends, who I love sooo much, it hurts sooo badly that I have to leave them. I gave up a huge chunk of my dignity to my ex-peers in Alexandria, to my friends at home, to my teachers, etc.

Also, its true that not a lot of people can afford to make my decision. I realize that I'm fortunate enough to have parents that are able to pay back all my debts to the government, when there is someone out there, who shares the same problems as mine, but can't do the same because his/her family can't support that decision.

So please know, that I didn't mean to offend anyone with my decision. I know that it seems to some of you that I made the decision to leave almost too easily. Do know that I didn't take this whole thing lightly. Its not like I'm stressed out one day, and the next I'm calling up my parents, telling them I want out.

NO. I thought about it. Long. And hard. I know exactly what I was going to have to leave behind, and what awaits me in the future. I made the decision only when I was absolutely certain, that it was a good one.  

All I ask for everyone now, is to support my decision and pray for my future, the same way I'll continue to pray for yours. 

Thank you.

P/S: I'm applying for Taylor's University's Foundation in Design. So hopefully I don't hear any other rumours of me applying to any other colleges for any other course.

P/S 2: Title is the result of my shabby, but still good enough (to me, at least) French. Nyahaha.