Unsettled.

So its going to be a week before I head back to Manchester; and frankly I don't know whether or not I am happy to be back so early (since my first class would take place 2 weeks after).

On one hand, I feel a little heavy hearted to be leaving home. As usual. Because as much as I enjoy and appreciate studying overseas, a piece of my heart will always be left at home.

But on another hand, I do look forward to going back. Mostly because I feel... unsettled, even at my own home. Now that my bedroom has been taken over and is now functioning as the family wardrobe, I sleep downstairs in the living room.

My luggage, since I returned home in July is still unpacked. So I don't feel as if I've truly even been home at times in the past 2 months.

Truth be told; I looked forward most to moving out of our current home, to what would be our new home. Unfortunately though, construction's been really slow and our move just keeps getting delayed. I was optimistic at first that we would get to move in before I leave, but right now I've taught myself to be nonchalant about it all because I know chances are slim and I hate getting my hopes up for nothing.

All I planned to do during the summer was to enjoy our new home and I've come to realise that I'm the type of person who gets stuck when her plans just don't fall into place. Because I've set myself up for a move, and it hasn't happened yet, I feel incapable of moving on to and making other plans.

I haven't even seen much of my friends. Granted, they are all busy themselves, but I can't seem to bring myself to make plans to see any and all of them. 

All I've been doing at average every day is... nothing. It pisses me off knowing that I've wasted so much of my summer break doing practically nothing, but I really just... can't bring myself to do much else. I feel so unsettled.

I hate it.