"Why do you love blogging?", someone asks.
Well, first of all, I think its mainly because I've always loved writing. When most people complain about having to write an essay, I secretly enjoy being assigned to. The feeling is indescribable. Theres just this sort of satisfaction of dragging a pen or pencil along the surface of a piece of paper.
Magical, even. When you think about it. One second its just a blank piece of paper. Not long after, its a masterpiece, that you crafted, using words and notations. And the best thing about it is? Its permanent. If you don't spill a cup of Old Town instant 3 in 1 White Coffee on it, that is. -______-"
Back in school, I never received any sort of acknowledgement for my essays. But that was never really the point of having it done in the first place. I just like seeing what was initially an idea in my mind, transferred onto something that people can see. Read. Enjoy, even. If they please.
An author, was what I wanted to become at one phase in life. Once even, on this camp I join, everyone was instructed to stand up, and sit down only when the conductor announced a list of ambitions. Regardless to say, the whole hall except myself and one other guy sat down by the time doctor, lawyer, lecturer, teacher, etc was mentioned. So both of us who were still standing was asked to come onstage, and watch as the others were told to guess what our ambitions were.
The guy wanted to be involved in music, someone guessed right. So I kinda won that game, if it was even a game to begin with. And finally, as everyone failed, I had to reveal to them what I wished to become when I grow up:
An author.
Mixed reviews, that dream of mine got. But most people just thought it was kinda stupid and laughed it off. Coz they can't see what that career would give me. What it was able to promise me.
Guess we all can't help but be blinded by cold hard cash at times. I'm no different.
But... heh. Not everything turns out how we wanted it to be. I'm on my way to being a doctor, InsyaAllah. So, at the very least when I'm unable to draft an award winning novel, I'd still get to write. Through blogging. In one way or another, the dream remains alive. Its even more rewarding when you receive compliments, and a following by people who enjoys my method of writing.
"Why must you write in English? You're Malay."
Yes. I'm Malay. And I'm proud to be. I'm not degrading my own race's language, but I've been reading English for as long as I can remember. My first book EVER was in English. Something about a rabbit and a ball. I'm still quite astonished at the fact that I still remember that book's illustrations quite vividly. -______-"
And from then on, every book I read was in English. Honestly, up until now, I've never read more than what my fingers are able to count, number of books in Malay. Disregarding the ones required in the school syllabus lah, of course.
And another factor might be because I'm less confident when I speak in Malay. I stutter quite badly when I do, and not so when I speak in English. Third reason being:
I write what goes on in my mind.
I don't draft the posts I write. Whatever I'm thinking of at the time (as of right now), I just convey onto this white box. And well, my mind speaks English. :-)
When I'm thinking something over, like, what I plan to do after this, or what I plan to eat... I don't go: "Nak buat apa ek lepas ni? / "Nak makan apa eh?" Instead, everything that I think about is in English. So its not really honest if I write in Malay, when its obvious that my thoughts are of another language entirely, don't you think?
More so, when I plan for this blog to be as sincere as it can get.
So thats all for now. I am SERIOUSLY super bloated right now coz my friends just fed me a great amount of food. Plus, I need a shower after an amount of sweating, coming from wearing a cotton baju kurung inside a kitchen on Summer. Super hot.
The weather. Durrhh. Of course lah kan. HAHA.
Oh and need to start doing sit ups again coz for the last few days perut tak surut surut. SERIOUSLY. Okay, I know lah I'm not conventionally thin, but my stomach is usually not one with problems, except after eating lah. The bloated-ness is even more questionable when I spent all of last week fasting, which means less stuff-my-face sessions.
UGH. And I feel so sluggish today coz spent the whole day at a friend's house eating + menyempit tengok Korean TV series next to a friend + sleeping + staying indoors all day.
I. Cannot. Lah. Like. That.
I need to at least MOVE MY FAT ASS. Which is why I spent 10 minutes just jumping out and down without any particular reason.
People living below, forgive me if you thought the world was about to come crashing down upon you.
P/S: I already know my repeat paper dates and I am SO THANKFUL to both my parents for deciding on what they did. Hopefully everything turns out good, InsyaAllah. :-)
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