Lost.

Uninspired. Lazy. Sick. Lost. Dizzy. Confused. Tempted. Bitter. Sad. Abandoned. Useless. Crap. Angry. Hormonal. Agressive. 

Definitely not a good time to be feeling all this, what with the submission dates for final assignments drawing near, and... exams. Fuck it especially Mathematics which I'm super unprepared for coz the focker teaching us is a piece of shit. Not making me feel any better is the fact that I've forgotten every basic mathematical formulas and I feel so fucking dumb and incapable.

*breathes*

I'm just going to have to remain composure and just get this semester over with. I'll try to top my last semester, but looking at how I'm feeling and how I'm (not) progressing right now, all hope might as well just be flushed down the toilet. 

I'm so bitter at LIFE. I mean, I know God has things planned for me... but just watching people progress and taking way too many steps forward away from me is making me uncomfortable and leaving me feeling like I'm at a stand still.

I know I'll get past this. I don't plan on driving myself to the ground like I did when I was studying in Egypt. I get everything I've ever asked for, and I'm so so so so grateful.

I just... Need some time away. From everyone. Just me, alone. By a beach. Just to sort out all these thoughts thats been swimming around in my head, and count my many blessings.

I'm confident that once I've done that, I'll bounce back. 

But yeah, till then, I'm gonna live like the zombie that I'm slowly turning into.

**Update**

My first period of 2012 came on the first day of 2012. I was hormonal when I wrote all this... My stomachache that lasted the whole day till early this morning wasn't much help either... So yeah. I'm feeling a bit stupid right now, and usually my first thought would be to remove this post. But at the same time I find it hilarious, so yes. Forever in this blog it shall remain.