Hah! Meet Flounder!
And my scarred face. :-( Okay so the post before was pretty depressing. But whatever, y'know. I've never been one to care for what other people think of me, and I'm not about to start. Just as long as I know, and God knows that my feelings are genuine... I'm happy.
All of that behind me now(!), to be honest, I miss wearing a scarf. Hadn't been doing that lately. I blame it on myself, of course. And also the lack of pashmina scarves in this house, and all of mine are in Egypt, unfortunately. *sighs* And since I'm being honest, I'd have to say that one of the reasons I haven't been wearing it is because I'm in private college now.
I feel bad for thinking that if I was wearing a scarf, people would find me a bit less approachable. I KNOW. Its wrong to think that. But I thought that I wanted to get to know people, my colleagues around here first, before I don a scarf to college.
Yes, I feel sooo narrow-minded for thinking those thoughts. And there is no excuse for it.
But yes, I do still wish to wear the hijab permanently in the future. Though for now, I'll take it slow. I don't plan on exposing my head my whole life.
Discussing this suddenly reminded me of a situation in college, where a friend called me 'A Little Virgin'. Basically because I've never tried smoking / doing drugs. And also because I freak out at the word porn and have never kissed a boy (or even a girl) on the lips.
NO, don't worry. I am not pressured by it, thinking that I'm 'behind' and oh-so-lame and I need to do all that to prove a point. Instead, I am actually proud of that status they've given me. Coz I don't find smoking (cigs AND / or shisha), drinking, clubbing, kissing, sex, even something that I should be proud of doing.
My ex-colleagues in Alexandria, and my colleagues here now are sooo different. I don't prefer one more than the other, or dislike one more than the other, but just stating a fact.
When I was doing medicine, pretty much EVERYONE is inexperienced. You can be SURE of that. But here? Mehhh. Its common lah to meet a girl who's been going to nightclubs since she was 14 years old. Have kissed and made out with their boyfriends. Have experimented homosexuality and whatnot.
I don't judge them by their lifestyle though, coz in reality they're SUPER NICE people. Its just that they choose to live life a little different from how I live mine. I'm not that any better myself, so who am I to tell them to not live the way they do and do the things they do, right?
This is not an insult to anyone, but I personally am thankful that myself (and all my other siblings) don't take much interest in the things I've mentioned. Our idea of getting 'high' is by eating a whole lot of yogurt, our idea of 'sneaking out' is to push our car and head to McDONALDS(!) and we dance only behind closed doors.
So, YAY(!) to being a couple of lame-O's!
Oh, before I finish, I've had a number of people at my college asking me whether I'm a Malay. So far I've been mistaken as an Indian (in Paris, while buying waffles outside of Galeries La Fayette) and a Chinese somewhere else (Coz my mata kecik ke apentah), but now they're saying I look Indonesian. Coz I'm a bit fair. Which of course, I LOL-ed at, coz I've never seen myself as someone fair. EVER. Though I have to say, that I take that as a compliment, coz Jakarta girls are darn pretty. :-P
P/S: I need to make time and read the books I've bought. I keep making trips to bookstore every time I go anywhere, and I'd buy one / two books, even when I've barely even touched the books I've bought before THAT. -______-"
Missing those days where I finish 3 books in a day and Mama scolds me for it, coz then she and Ayah have to fork out money for me to buy more. :'-)
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